tandem
by Kuruk
Summary: He measures time in the increments between possessing the people he loves and losing them. — Silver/Ethan.


_Notes: Character study of Silver, more than anything else. I started off writing Lyra, but ended up writing Ethan instead. Oh, well... I've been wanting to write Lyra for a while now, so I'm sure that she'll force her way through next time. Hope you enjoy it._

_Characters / Pairings: Silver/Ethan (huntershipping). Lance and Clair, mentions of Giovanni and Arianna._

_Universe: Game — G/S/C, HG/SS._

_Warnings: minor violence, some language, spoilers._

_Disclaimer: I don't own Pokémon ._

* * *

><p><em><strong>tandem<strong>_

Silver knows that the frost in his heart hasn't always been there, but he isn't the kind of weakling that squanders his time dwelling on the past.

When he was nine, Silver destroyed his past in a fire he'd made in the Viridian Forest. It was, like most of Silver's actions, a thoroughly premeditated one. _Immolate: to destroy oneself by fire_. His tutor had taught him that word the month before, and in the solitary darkness of the gym, the word sounded decidedly right to his ears. So Silver had imagined the small fire to be a pyre, the cries of the wild pidgey to be his funeral dirge, and the black shirts emblazoned with crimson R's to be the weak child he used to be as they were consumed greedily by the hungry flames.

Destruction is supposed to be permanent, so Silver makes an effort not to remember how his father had left (him), humiliated by a defeat at the hands of a boy who wasn't much older than Silver was himself. He doesn't dwell on the gang of cowards his father presided over as tyrant, failing time and time again to (protect) carry out his father's (glorious) pathetic vision. And he definitely doesn't think about how that woman—because it takes more than pushing a kid out to be considered a mother—had run away, too weak to face the world without her god there to direct her.

That doesn't mean that he's a coward. Silver may be many things, but he certainly isn't a coward. When he hears whispers of _Team Rocket_ and hushed, fervent chants of _Hail Giovanni_, he takes the steps necessary to squash them like the pitiful ants they really are.

Silver isn't the invincible boy with red eyes, or the girl with flowing chestnut hair, or even the arrogant boy that stole the gym away, but he _is_ his father's heir. Most of all, though, he's a man and men take care of their responsibilities.

That, at least, is one of the lessons his father taught him that he takes to heart.

–…–

He follows the rumors to Johto, where he steals a pokémon from a bumbling idiot of a professor who probably doesn't know how to use it properly anyway. He'll need the thing to crush Team Rocket, and though he loathes the thought of depending on anything else, he is intimately acquainted with how their game is played, and is determined to beat them at it.

Yet all along Route 29, Silver swallows down the bitter taste in his mouth. _I'm not anything like them_, he repeats fervently, anger and self-loathing welling up inside of him like the flames of the pyre. _I'm not._

He challenges the golden-eyed boy to prove that to himself. His opponent, though unassuming and dense-looking, received his starter pokémon (a weak-looking runt of a cyndaquil that can barely keep its flames going) from the same idiot that Silver stole his from, so it's a good pretest for him.

It should have been too easy. Silver's totodile, though untrained and weak, has the type advantage, and Silver had often watched his father during gym battles, so he knows how to command a pokémon and make it win.

But it isn't until the battle is underway that Silver realizes his error. When pressed, the boy flares up, golden eyes shining dangerously with pure instinctual power (like the blood red eyes that haunt Silver's nightmares), and he freezes up, barely able to get out an order while the boy wipes the floor with his totodile.

When the battle is over, Silver hides the fear with as much concentrated venom as he can muster, recalling the pathetic totodile with disgust. The other boy watches him quietly with deceptively subdued gold eyes that gleam with concern.

"You shouldn't treat Totodile like that," the boy says. "She did the best she could."

Silver scoffs, acutely aware of the cold sweat still clinging to his back. "It's weak and pathetic," he bites out, shoving past the other boy violently.

He ignores the bitter taste that now threatens to take over his entire mouth.

_I'm not anything like them… I'm not…_

A fluke, he tells himself. It was just a fluke. The totodile was untrained; it was weak. Once Silver got through with it, things would be different. That boy would regret the day he ever crossed paths with him.

The excuses stoke the fire like crumpled leaves, and Silver finds that he can breathe normally with its smoke filling his veins again.

–…–

Rumors of slowpoke tails bring him to Azalea Town, but by the time he arrives, the Rockets have already been cleared out of the well, the townspeople talking animatedly of a kind boy with golden eyes who singlehandedly defeated the criminals.

Silver thinks he's going to be sick as he watches the boy (Ethan, he thinks bitterly) easily defeat the gym leader of the town through one of the gym's grimy windows. Silver wants to punch him, wants to pin him down and kick him again and again and again until it even hurts him to breathe. He needs to feel the boy's skin against his knuckles, breaking under the force of his attacks. The furnace within him roars at the prospect, so he waits for him outside the gym and confronts him when he makes his way toward Ilex Forest. The boy's mouth tightens in a disapproving frown, the quilava at his feet bristling with suppressed anger.

"You stole her," he says accusingly, "You stole that Totodile from Professor Elm ."

When Silver laughs mockingly at his words, imagining what it would be like to see that boyish face all bruised and broken, the other boy's hand tightens into a fist and extends quickly, his quilava jumping in front of him with a battle cry, flames jumping dangerously. Silver's eyes narrow, but a smirk tugs at his lips. "So you think you're a hero, huh?"

When Ethan doesn't reply, Silver grabs for a poké ball at his belt and lets it fly, determined to pay him back for the fluke….

It ends even quicker, this time.

Silver is white with shock when croconaw (painstakingly trained for hours specifically for this battle) collapses to quilava's brutal fire attacks. _Water is strong against fire_, Silver's mind spits incredulously. _How is this possible?_

When Ethan takes a step forward, Silver trips over his own feet in an attempt to put as much distance between himself and the other boy as possible. "What you did is wrong," Ethan is saying, "You're just like them, just like Team Rocket… stealing pokémon and using them like this."

"I'm _not_!" Silver screams angrily (desperately), and suddenly croconaw is getting to its feet, baring its teeth threateningly at Ethan, who takes a step back. Quilava makes a small noise, but Silver is hardly paying attention, getting to his feet and fumbling for croconaw's poké ball hastily.

He recalls it and runs into the forest, intent on getting the boy's words out of his head.

–…–

But then it happens again in the ruins of the Burned Tower, and then he loses to the impossibly powerful dragon tamer with the black cape in the Rocket Hideout when Silver was minutes away from confronting (her) the executives.

By the time Ethan defeats him in the tunnels beneath Goldenrod City, the furnace within him gives out all at once, and so do his knees, which hit the dirty linoleum with a dull thud. His mind is spinning, his mouth dry. He thinks he might throw up.

He can't understand. He's trained his pokémon so hard, never letting up in his efforts. He commands them like a strong trainer should, but every time he goes up against Ethan, he just can't win. Is he really… no. He's not. He's nothing like her, nothing like him.

He must have said it out loud, because Ethan is kneeling in front of him now, golden eyes shining with rare concern (because this time it's directed at _him _and not his 'abused' pokémon). "Silver…" the other boy mutters softly, eyes searching his intently.

When Ethan's hand settles awkwardly on his shoulder, Silver pulls back with frantic rage. "I don't need your pity!" he's shouting, and he vaguely registers the hurried footsteps and cries of the Rocket grunts in the tunnel. "I don't need anything from you! You weakling! You pathetic little runt—,"

And then the grunts are upon them and Ethan's typhlosion is roaring menacingly. When Ethan turns away and the tunnel is engulfed in orange flames and the cries of the terrified Rockets , Silver gets to his feet and runs out of the tunnel, never feeling more pathetic.

This weakness… it must be genetic.

–…–

Ethan defeats Team Rocket singlehandedly, and soon he conquers the Pokémon League, too.

Silver stays away from the other boy, but his mind is always filled with thoughts of him. In the isolation of Mt. Moon, he thinks of Ethan, the dragon tamer, and boy with blood red eyes, of his father and the true meaning of strength.

The darkness of Mt. Moon teaches him that he is weak, but not for the reasons that he'd originally thought. When he thinks of _strong_, his mind is no longer filled with fantasies of himself, commanding the mightiest of pokémon to do his bidding. Now he thinks of Ethan's soft smile and the way his pokémon return his love and trust unconditionally and without question. In the silence, he finds where he is lacking, and finds that he wants it more than anything.

And then one day Ethan finds him there, in this isolated corner of the world. The other boy's eyes widen in surprise at the sight of him before a wide grin breaks over his features.

"Silver!" Ethan says, cheerful voice echoing through the cave. "It's been forever, man!"

"Since Victory Road…" Silver agrees quietly.

When Ethan comes closer, Silver takes note of how much he's grown since that day on Route 29, how the pudginess had faded, leaving behind a persistently boyish charm on his rival's face. Silver swallows hard, eyes averted.

Ethan claps a hand on his shoulder and Silver flinches, unaccustomed to this show of affection. Ever since their last battle at the Victory Road, the antagonism between the two of them had faded into some kind of understanding. The tension had certainly still been there—Silver knew that Ethan still disliked the fact that he'd stolen Totodile from Professor Elm all those years ago, but now it seems to have disappeared completely.

Perhaps it is because Silver had returned to Newbark Town months ago to return Feraligatr in an attempt to make things right. Elm, surprised both by Silver's sincere actions and the apparent affection that Feraligatr held for the man that had stolen her years before, had allowed Silver to keep her and had entrusted him with a Pokédex. Ethan had not been in town that day, but maybe he'd heard….

Despite the things that the mountain has helped him learn about himself, however, Silver cannot let go of certain things. Team Rocket is finally gone now, their name finally beginning to fade out of the people's memory again, but Silver still mourns the possibility of defeating them, of proving himself to be the red-eyed boy's equal (and gaining his father's respect like the boy had). He cannot help but begrudge Ethan this despite his newfound respect (admiration) for the other boy, so he scowls at him, as is customary between them.

But Ethan is unfazed and challenges him to a pokémon battle, which Silver loses (as always). This time, however, Silver is filled with something resembling peace—his pokémon had done their best. He just needed to get stronger.

"That was a good battle," Ethan tells him, patting Typhlosion affectionately in congratulations.

"Yes…" Silver replies, voice suddenly sure. "I suppose it was."

–…–

Much to his annoyance, Ethan decides to spend the night.

"We need to catch up," Ethan says in explanation, and Silver cannot find it in him to snap at the boy like he usually would, so he lets him.

They lie together under the stars in the cool night air, staring up at the stars. Silver's clothes are old and tattered, and the wind sneaks in through the holes and tears in his jacket and pants, making him shiver violently. He hugs himself tight, desperate to hide this weakness from Ethan.

But of course, he notices.

Instead of calling Silver out on it (like he expected him to), Ethan releases Typhlosion and asks him to provide them with some warmth, muttering about being cold just loud enough for the other boy to hear. Silver scowls at Ethan's thinly veiled attempt to accommodate him (Ethan is wrapped up in that usual hoodie of his), but is just the smallest bit grateful that he at least attempted to be subtle about it.

–…–

When Silver wakes up, Ethan is still asleep. He feels like a creeper for it, but Silver finds himself shifting onto his side so that he can better watch the other boy as he sleeps.

He is unaccustomed to the alien warmth that permeates his body at the sight, and scowls a little as the wave reaches his cheeks, heating them in a blush that he's sure clashes terribly with his hair. Ethan's chest rises and falls softly in a lazy rhythm, and Silver wonders when exactly this came over him. He never used to be fascinated with the way other people (let alone other boys) looked when they sleep, but now Silver can't look away.

Silver has never wanted much when he's even known what he wants at all, but when the warmth settles in the pit of his stomach, he knows that he wants this.

He wants Ethan. All of him. He wants to kiss him and run his fingers over Ethan's tanned skin, tug at the hair beneath his hat, and make him cry out Silver's name. These desires sweep through him quickly, reigniting the furnace that had long been neglected and unlit, the rust hidden by the roar of the phoenix flames.

And he panics, jumping to his feet and fixing his eyes on the ground (anywhere but Ethan). He begins quickly picking up his meager collection of possessions and silently calls out Gobat, who looks at him with a groggy expression.

"Fly!" Silver hisses, and he grabs onto the bat's leg, only looking back at the sleeping figure beneath him when he's sure that he'd be lost against the mountain's surface.

(But most of all, he wants to let go. He just wants to be Silver, the man. He wonders if he could be that with Ethan. And if so, how long… because Silver measures time in the increments in which he possesses people before he loses them, and losing Ethan sounds worse than never having him at all.)

–…–

Silver finds a new cave to train in soon enough. The Dragon's Den is exclusive enough to be relatively quiet, and the pokémon are tough enough to challenge his team (and himself) enough so that they grow stronger.

Time goes on and Silver takes to letting Feraligatr out of her poké ball, which pleases her to no end. They spend their days and nights together and she soon becomes his constant companion. He notices things about her that he never did before, like how she tends to growl menacingly at anything she perceives to be a threat to him, or how her left hind leg twitches in her sleep. He grows extremely fond of her, and soon he cannot imagine living life without her (or his Sneasel, who tends to force himself out of his poké ball often and ride around of Silver's shoulder). Soon Golbat evolves into Crobat, which Silver gets happy (and more than a little emotional) about, because he'd heard that golbat only evolve into crobat when they're extremely happy.

He knows that he's nowhere near the place trainers like Ethan and the dragon tamer are with their pokémon, but Silver likes to think that one day, he'll get there.

–…–

Ethan finds him soon enough.

Silver isn't really surprised. Ethan has long surpassed him (so much so that Silver cannot even call him a rival anymore). When most trainers grow too big for the region they started off in, they tend to pick up and leave to another to meet new faces to battle, new pokémon to catch and train. Annoyingly, Ethan remains in Johto despite the fact that he's so beyond it (Silver).

It's so extraordinarily impossible that he's come to wonder if it's magnetism that keeps the two tied together like this, and he ends up blushing at the triteness of the thought that sounds like it came out of some trashy romance novel.

Riding on his red Gyarados across the water toward him, Ethan waves cheerily.

Silver scowls.

"Silver," Ethan says breathlessly when he reaches him. "So this is where you've been. When I woke up you were gone…" he scratches the back of his head. "I was a little worried."

He scoffs at Ethan's concern. "Please. I'm not some weakling that needs to be worried about."

Ethan grins a bit self-consciously. "Yeah, I know… but friends worry anyway."

Silver's heart begins to do flips and skip beats at Ethan's words. _Friends_, he thinks dumbly as Ethan cheerily greets Feraligatr, who responds with a cheerful cry and immediately approaches Typhlosion, who just as happily greets her.

How can anyone say that so carelessly, almost as if it wasn't a big deal? _Friends_. Silver has never had a friend before, and despite the fact that it's this cheerfully clueless idiot, Silver supposes it's nice to have a friend…

"Friends…" Silver mutters, testing the strange word on his tongue.

Ethan is about to say something, but suddenly, they're not alone.

Silver can't believe his eyes. It's the dragon tamer, the one from the Rocket Base all those years ago. When he offers a double battle and suggests that Silver team up with the gym leader, the furnace burns and he pushes her out of the way, grabbing Ethan's hand and declaring that they'll fight together. Ethan blinks at Silver's outburst, but begins grinning from ear to ear right after.

It's almost comically easy.

For years, Silver had longed to get even with the dragon tamer. He imagined that it would be a long, arduous battle that would take every bit of strength he had to emerge triumphant. Granted, he never imagined that he'd be fighting with Ethan against the dragon tamer and his freakishly dressed blue-haired cousin, but it's still so easy that Silver almost laughs.

Typhlosion and Feraligatr act in perfect synchronization. Hydro pumps and flamethrowers are fired off one after the other, or made to intentionally crash to produce a blanket of searing steam to hide from the dragons and attack from, unseen. In tandem, Ethan and Silver and unbeatable, and not even the former Elite Four Champion and the strongest of Johto's gym leaders stand a chance.

The battle is over within minutes, the dragons fainting despite the type advantages, and Silver smirks, wondering if this is how Ethan felt each time he'd turn the tables on Silver in their battles.

Lance is surprised and Clair is infuriated, but Silver is smiling, honest-to-goodness smiling. Ethan slaps him on the back and pulls him into a one-armed hug which Silver returns gladly, forgetting himself. Before he knows it, the dragon tamers have left, and it's only him and Ethan again. Still, he doesn't pull out of the hug.

"You and Feraligatr were awesome, Silver," Ethan is saying into his shoulder.

A smirk. "Of course we were," Silver says cockily, chuckling a little when Feraligatr gives a cry of agreement. "You and Typhlosion were too, I guess…" he offers, and Ethan's beaming smile is worth the momentary shedding of his carefully maintained image.

They stay like that for a few moments, and then Silver pulls away, a blush staining his pale cheeks despite himself. He studiously averts his eyes; Ethan, as always (when it comes to situations like these) notices nothing, still grinning from ear to ear like a total fool.

"I've never…" Ethan starts, pink dusting his tanned cheeks. "I've never had such a great partner in a double battle before…. I… I've never…" but he falters.

Silver wonders. He wonders if all this time he should have been battling _with_ Ethan rather than against him. The lessons from his childhood still linger in his mind (_don't depend on anything but your own power, Silver_), but he remembers the funeral pyre, remembers that Team Rocket is gone, and he lets himself think that maybe, just maybe, being with Ethan makes him stronger than he ever could be alone.

Hesitantly, he steps closer to Ethan, whose eyes widen infinitesimally at the closeness. Silver presses his lips to Ethan's forehead fleetingly, hyperaware that both their faces are tomato red. He averts his eyes, but Ethan tilts his head so that Silver is looking at him again. Ethan leans in curiously to press his lips against Silver's for the briefest of moments before pulling away to inspect him with golden eyes that shine with the light of epiphany.

Suddenly overcome with the desire to save face, Silver scowls, though it must look comical with his beet red face and hair. "T-this… it changes nothing, you know! We're still rivals!"

Ethan just smirks. "You can say that all you want, if your frozen black heart needs you to." Then he pulls him in for another.

(But if Silver were being completely honest with himself, he'd know that the frost that lingers in his heart has already been melted away by the golden sunshine that is his rival.)

* * *

><p><em>AN: Silver has always been one of my favorite rivals. I've always imagined him to have strong, often conflicting, undercurrents of emotion welling up within him. He has a need to be his own man, but he is every bit Giovanni's son despite all the attempts he makes to distance himself from the memory of his father's failure. Still, his redemption is definitely the best development his character encounters. I hope I did him justice._

_Thanks go out to the readers. Reviews are always appreciated._

_I hope you enjoyed it!_


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